I first of all want to Thank You You have done a noble thing by providing Balkavi. I read it for my son & he was very pleased by listening it.

Seems to be an exact copy of another reproduction elsewhere on the internet -- because it replicates the same (ह्रस्व-दीर्घ, etc.) mistakes.
(Or perhaps the other person copied your effort!)
I suggest you correct the following:

हिरवल -> हिरवळ
नभावर -> नभांवर
उतरूनि -> उतरुनि
फडफडा -> फडफड
सुंदरा -> सुंदर
परीजातहि -> पारिजातहि
भामारोष भामारोष -> भामारोष
ललजा -> ललना
माझ्या -> माझिया
त्याच्या -> त्यांच्या
Once you correct these, you'll find the meter (metre, वृत्त) will flow nicely as you recite the poem!

Oops. Add one more:

माईना -> माइ ना
(which is "poetic license" for मावे ना, but it must be a ह्रस्व इ to do right by the meter. Shri Thomre could've said "न मावे" without having to resort to any poetic license -- after all, he's used मात्रावृत्त, not अक्षरगणवृत्त -- but it's a free country -- or was!)

It looks like an attempt has been made to fix some of the grammar errors since my last post. However, several errors persist. Respecting great poetry, you should fix them all, but one that I BESEACH you to fix URGENTLY is "पुरोप कंठी"! There's no word like "पुरोप". It should be पुरोपकंठी which is short for (पुर + उपकंठी).
पुर = town
उपकंठ = edge, border

So where are सुंदर बाला हाती सुंदर परडी घेउनी फुलमाला, रम्य फुले (आणि) पत्री खुडती? Answer: पुरोपकंठी (at the edge of town)!

Beseach?? No; I meant "beseech"!

आपले खुप खुप आभार. कवितांची आवड असली तरीही माझे व्याकरण कच्चे आहे. ते सुधारण्यासाठी आपली अशीच साथ लाभो.